Being Bad Finally Pays Off ! Our annual contest, "Santa, I Can Explain!" awards Santa's sack of toys to the lucky dog who's naughtier than all the rest. FunStuffForDogs.com is asking dog owners everywhere to tell us tales of utter embarrassment, unspeakable damage and unmitigated mischief that our beloved pooches have wrought.
The winning entry
receives Santa's sack of toys (worth at least $100) just in time for
Christmas.
Congratulations to Casey, a yellow
Lab from South Bristol, Maine. This money-hungry dog won our 2007 contest. She
lives with Paul and Judy DiDonato. Here is their entry:
The Monday before Thanksgiving was like every other day. Purposely we had left $500.00 on the coffee table as a visual reminder for it to be deposited in the bank later that night. We thought nothing of it and continued our lives as we did any other day. Mistake number one. “Casey, would you like to come upstairs with me," I asked her. By 1:00 pm our Lab, Casey, had already gone up and down our non-carpeted wooden flight of stairs nearly three times, which is plenty for her arthritic 12-year old bones. She did not make a move to join me, so I left her to stay downstairs while I went upstairs to work on my computer. Mistake number two. About an hour later I heard her diligently trying to get up those slick wooden stairs. Not to baby her too much, I thought I’d let her give it a try by herself before I rescued her. Unfortunately my computer work absorbed my attention. Mistake number three. Twenty minutes lapsed and I no longer heard her trying to scramble up the stairs. I got up and peered down the stairwell. To my dismay, Casey was no longer on the landing. I walked downstairs with every intention of helping her upstairs to be with me, even if that meant carrying her. To my horror, I saw her with a fresh $20.00 bill hanging from her lips and a $100.00 bill at her paws. I screamed, “NO! CASEY! What are you doing?” She looked at me as if to say, “Oh… yeah… hi… I just ate your money.” I pried open her jaw and stuck my hand in her mouth. Nothing but tongue. I checked the table where the money had been. Nothing. I rummaged in the crevasses of her makeshift bed – nothing. I hung my head in disbelief. The dog had just eaten $380.00. Upon realizing the money was gone, I called the vet to ask two important questions. One: Would Casey be okay after ingesting money? Two: Will my money be okay after being ingested? After listening to a few giggles on the other end of the line, the vet told me what the signs were that would indicate Casey was having trouble passing the money. She assured me that if the dog ate the bills whole, they would probably will come out whole. The waiting began… The first poop – no cash. I figured it was too soon and needed to keep waiting. The second and third also had no money. It was like a game show. Pooping For Cash! Trying to stay positive, I thought maybe tomorrow was my lucky day. Yet my hope was diminishing. The four and fifth also had no money so at this point I was sure the bills had disintegrated. Then came Thursday morning, Thanksgiving. 6:30 am. No poop. 7:45 am. She squatted and I got excited. Just pee. 7:51 am. She squatted again. I watched her, looking for signs of struggle. I watched the other end. Eventually, the money emerged! Armed with rubber gloves and a long, pointy stick, I began poking excitedly through the new arrival to find a jackpot. $380.00 The exact amount that she had eaten just three days prior! Amazingly, the three $100 bills were totally intact. The biggest casualty was a $10 bill missing a corner. After washing them repeatedly, washing my hands repeatedly and praising the dog for being the best pooper ever, the bills were safely deposited in the bank. It just goes to show that you really should wash your hands after handling money, because you truly don't know where it's been.
Melody and Emma, the Wicked Wieners from New York, NY were the 2006 winners. Here's their entry, courtesy of Rebecca Murray:
The ladies won a HUGE stocking filled with over $100 worth of toys and treats for Christmas, just for being at the top of the Naughty list. Congratulations, and thanks to everyone who entered our contest. - The Team at FunStuffForDogs.com
Congratulations to the aptly-named Tempest, a Border Collie from Winnebago, IL who burned down the house. Here's her entry:
Dear Santa,
My name is Tempest, and Mom
says I'm the naughtiest dog in the world, but I can explain.
Let's skip the mini blinds, the
patio blinds, the smoked salmon, and the time I went after the electric saw that
I thought was trying to attack the neighbor. I sneaked up from behind and tried
to get the saw from between his legs. I don't know what I banged my head on, but
he yelped like a litter of puppies!
Two months ago, after a boring breakfast of dog food, I got up on the counter
for a bag of donuts. I didn't want the potato chips that were there, so I
dragged them out of the way onto the gas stove. I must have hit the knob on the
stove. Turns out potato chips are flammable. I had already done some home
remodeling on the cat door that Mom had installed when she got the cat. The door
was supposed to allow the cat (but not me) to get to the litter box in the
basement, but I had widened it prior to the fire. It was my carpentry skills and
ingenuity that saved that cat and me when that stove started a fire, because we
escaped into the basement. So really, Santa, I should be treated as a hero for
saving the cat's life!
Tempest received $100 in toys and treats from FunStuffForDogs.com, delivered by December 23. Congratulations, Tempest! Footnote: When we called Tempest to let her know she'd won our contest, Susan Hanson told us that the dog was at the vet. Apparently, Tempest has cut her foot on construction debris during the rebuilding of the house. Add another $300 in vet bills to Tempest's tab. |
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The contest is co-sponsored by
Urban Dog magazine. It's free to enter, and you don't even have to pay for
shipping! Story must be true and must have happened to you or someone in
your household. Read about past winners 
